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This fear is so intense that a BPD can perceive abandonment even where there really is no such thing. Moreover, the more intense this abandonment fear, the higher the chances for the BPD to act extremely, to see dangers where there is none, and to desert relationships out of the blue, thus they becoming the abandoners. People with borderline personality lack realism about others and the world around them, so they misinterpret others and have unrealistic expectations from themselves and the people they come in contact with. What all these mean to you is that you most probably have nothing to do with all the chaos from of your relationship, especially if your ex BPD the assassination of jesse james by the coward robert ford ending had no intention to get the help he/she needed. So if you want to find out more about what can you do to put behind the painful memories of your BPD relationship, download my free ebook Surviving The Borderline Hellhole! Get notified by email when new articles are added to this category or written by this author. Submitted On October 22, 20 Viewed 273 times. Word count: I am living in Europe and English is not my native language, please excuse any grammatical errors in this article. I am currently doing brain research in university in my home country and during last few years I have become interested in the biological and physiological mechanisms of depression caused by abuse in a relationship. Relationships end for various different reasons. Separation is changing the life of both partners. Losing a long term partner in life can lead to depression. If a relationship has been abusive, it is often harder to get over the sadness caused by separation. When one is ending an abusive relationship, one must not only deal with the pain caused by separation itself but also recover from depression caused by the abuse. To read more about the depression caused by an abusive relationship and the recovery process after ending an abusive relationship, visit page It often takes several attempts to break free from an unhealthy relationship. After separation it is very likely that the depression of the abused partner gets transiently worse before the improvement starts. During this vulnerable period there is a risk that one is misinterpreting the worsening of one s condition to be the consequence of the separation itself rather than a sign of a healing process. One might feel the depressed feeling is a proof that one truly loves one s partner despite the abuse. This misinterpretation often makes one to return to an abusive relationship. In a way the abused person is behaving like a drug addict, who is experiencing withdrawal symptoms and is looking for relief from the relationship that once brought joy and happiness into one s life, before things started to go wrong. If depression is caused by abuse in a relationship, the recovery process cannot begin as long as the abuser is part of one s life. It is hard to leave a person with whom one has been sharing life for a long time, however if it seems clear that the abuser is not willing to change, staying in the relationship is only making matters worse for the abused partner. If you feel you are depressed due to problems in your relationship and wish to read more about depression and how you can help yourself to recover and regain your happiness, visit page / If you are in an abusive relationship the most important thing is to understand that you do not have to go with the flow. You can help your mind and your brain to recover from depression by teaching your mind and brain to adapt new ways of responding in a given situation, in same fashion as you can train your muscles to work in a new way while learning to ride a bicycle, to dance etc. Understanding the biological and psychological mechanisms that are causing the depression help you to start the process of changing the way your mind works and hence get over depression faster. To read more about the biological basis of depression and brain function, visit page / I am currently doing brain research in the area of functional brain imaging. I am interested in the biological and psychological basis of depression. If you wish to read more about these topics, you are welcome to visit my website / If you re feeling down, go to your Co-Workers, 2011 Depression Self Help. Clearly last nights election trumps any gossip that we have For today, lets just enjoy the Aint it great to be AMERICAN!!!! YES YES YES! As that infamous text msg says: We may not have gotten our 40 acres and a mule, but we took 50 states and the white said. This is what MLK was talking about in the I Have A Dream speech. And it has happened in our lifetimw!! TO THE RACIST HAHA, A AFRICAN TOOK YOUR WHITE WOMAN AND MADE A BLACK SON WHO IS NOW YOUR PRESIDENT!!! THE MOST POWERFUL MAN IN THE WORLD IS BLACK!!! YOU ARE BELOW A BLACK MAN! A BLACK FAMILY IS THE FIRST FAMILY OF OUR NATION! NOW, THAT IM FINISH RUBBING IT IN, I WANNA CONGRATULATE OBAMA ON THIS HISTORICAL WIN! NO ONE DESERVES IT MORE. I CRIED MANY TEARS WHEN THEY ANNOUNCED YOU AS THE WINNER. I AM SO PROUD OF YOU, AND THIS IS A DEFINING MOMENT IN OUR COMMUNITY! GO OBAMA!!!!! WE LOVE YOU!!! YES WE CAN AND YES WE DID, !!!!! PRESIDENT BARACK HUSSEIN OBAMA!!!!! D HA HA HA, IM LAUGHIN AT U BITCHES TO THE RACIST HAHA, A AFRICAN TOOK YOUR WHITE WOMAN AND MADE A BLACK SON WHO IS NOW YOUR PRESIDENT!!! THE MOST POWERFUL MAN IN THE WORLD IS BLACK!!! YOU ARE BELOW A BLACK MAN! A BLACK FAMILY IS THE FIRST FAMILY OF OUR NATION! NOW, THAT IM FINISH RUBBING IT IN, I WANNA CONGRATULATE OBAMA ON THIS HISTORICAL WIN! NO ONE DESERVES IT MORE. I CRIED MANY TEARS WHEN THEY ANNOUNCED YOU AS THE WINNER. I AM SO PROUD OF YOU, AND THIS IS A DEFINING MOMENT IN OUR COMMUNITY! GO OBAMA!!!!! WE LOVE YOU!!! YES WE CAN AND YES WE DID, !!!!! PRESIDENT BARACK HUSSEIN OBAMA!!!!! D HA HA HA, IM LAUGHIN AT U BITCHES He is the best man for the job!! Strong, proud, intelligent, bold and brave. Congrats to did it!! YES MADE HISTORY YESTERDAY. YOU KNOW WHAT IM MOST PROUD ABOUT? THERE OBAMA SUPPORTERS OF EVERY KIND did you see that crowd at the rally? SO WE ARE NOT DEFINED BY OUR RACE ALONE.